


The Way I Loved You

by NightWolf713



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Based on a Taylor Swift Song, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Getting Back Together, M/M, Mentioned Scientist Pidge, Pidge | Katie Holt-centric, mutual breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 03:44:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightWolf713/pseuds/NightWolf713
Summary: 'It didn’t matter, she was with Shiro now.'Katie always knew her heart wasn't in her current relationship, and she knew it was mutual. Both of them loved others, and she understood that.*Based on Taylor Swift's 'The Way I Loved You'*





	The Way I Loved You

A sigh escaped Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt as she glanced at the alarm clock on her nightstand, tugging at the hem of her dress.

She was going on a date soon, with the perfect gentleman that had many of her friends from college swooning upon the mere mention of him. He actually got her, unlike most, always saying exactly what she needed to hear when she needed it, and he wasn’t afraid to point out her mistakes.

The sound of a knock on her bedroom door snaps the young scientist out of her thoughts, seeing her older brother open the door.

“He’s here.” She gave Matt a nod, signaling she heard and would be down shortly. He closed her door with a nod of his own.

A quick glance to her clock tells her he’s exactly on time, like always. She stood up, fixed her dress, and then headed down. She would not keep her date-her boyfriend-waiting.

“You look amazing, Katie.” She looks up at the taller man, the very same one who used to be her leader. Takashi Shirogane was everything a girl could dream of, from good to bad. From years upon years of working with him, and having to trust him with her life, Katie didn’t feel uncomfortable going out with him besides the ‘you used to be my leader and now you’re my boyfriend’ awkwardness they went through before things smoothed over.

She felt fine…and that’s how it was supposed to be.

It didn’t matter that she sometimes got infuriated with how calm he was, how he never snapped at her, even when she tried to get him to do so. It didn’t matter that, sometimes, she missed fighting with a certain ex of hers that she rarely sees anymore. She missed the dramatic nights where he’s sneak her out of the college campus and take her for a night on the town, just so she could get away from the stress of college, allowing her to break down and vent about all the stupid shenanigans college came with. She missed when, on those nights, it’d start to rain just as they climbed on his motorcycle to head back. She missed the cliché kisses in the rain they’d have when they got back to her dorm that left her with flushed cheeks and butterflies in her stomach, all sensations that were new and addicting to her.

It didn’t matter, she was with Shiro now.

Shiro, who never invaded her personal space without knowing it was 100% alright, who was always there exactly at the time they agreed on, who always made sure to call her when he said he would, even if he was busy.

The guy who her mother adored, the one who still actively worked with her father.

Katie was well-aware he was charming, and he was endeared to everyone who knew him…she was comfortable with him.

It didn’t matter that she sometimes stayed up until the early morning, cursing the man who invaded her thoughts, even when she loved another. It didn’t matter that she remembered her time with him as if their breakup wasn’t months ago. That those odd acts of affection from him were still incredibly endearing and almost made her melt when she thought of them, even if she teased him when he actually did those kind of actions, joking around and asking if he’d gone insane.

She knew her smile was fake, it’s been fake for a while now. In the beginning, she did believe she loved Shiro with all her heart. He was there for her back on the Castle of Lions, when she would break down, sobbing over the family she thought was lost. He was there when she broke up with the one who was basically a brother to him. He was always there, and she loved that.

After the first few months, she realized that her ‘feelings’ towards Shiro weren’t as romantic as she had originally believed. She only continued this because she knew she was still in love with her ex, and she thought that maybe, just maybe, she’d be able to get over him and truly fall in love with Shiro if she kept it up.

Even if the boy she loved was so much more than Shiro. Even if that boy sent sparks through her mind and body with every action he took in their relationship. He had been wild, electric, and she was enamored with that effect.

That effect Shiro couldn’t recreate.

Katie snapped out of her thoughts when, instead of the restaurant they had planned to go to, Shiro pulled into the parking lot of a nearly-empty park. She knew this park, it wasn’t too far from the edge of town, where the Garrison is and where she met the people who became her best friends.

“Pidge…we can’t keep doing this.” She should have felt surprised, but she didn’t. Somehow, she subconsciously expected this. Maybe she had been waiting for it.

“Doing what?” She asks, despite knowing her answer.

“This, Pidge. Our hearts aren’t in it…and I think you’ve known that for as long as I have.”

She did know. God, did she know.

“I’m sorry, Shiro. I thought if we kept doing this…I thought maybe I’d be able to actually fall for you.” She doesn’t even bother being ashamed of her words. Relationship status aside, Shiro was one of her closest friends. He knew more about her than almost anyone in this universe. She couldn’t lie to him because he’d know, just like how he can’t lie to her. Even without Voltron, they’re still two-fifths of a team and two-sevenths of a family by choice. They’ve literally been in each other’s minds before.

“I know, I felt the same…but this is unfair to both of us. You still love Keith, and I still love Lance.”

Lance McClain, pilot of the Blue Lion and current ambassador between Earth and other planets. Princess Allura’s right hand man…and Shiro’s ex-boyfriend. They had briefly dated when they got home, but had ended it since they didn’t believe they could handle the long-distance relationship they’d be forced to have. It was mutual, and anyone could tell neither wanted it…besides each other. They were so oblivious.

“I’m sorry…for keeping you away from him.”

Shiro gave her that stern look.

“Pidge, do not be sorry for that. Both of us agreed to see other people in our time apart, and I’m pretty sure we’d be wrong if we assumed Lance never dated anyone after me. I should be sorry for leading you on.”

“You didn’t.” Pidge’s reply was immediate, and she felt a part of herself she’d lost for a bit start to come back. She felt more like Pidge than Katie…and despite originally thinking that feeling like Katie was better, she felt relieved. She couldn’t be Katie now, not the same one she was before the Kerberos mission.

She was Pidge, and that relieved her more than anything.

It was okay that she missed Keith and their stupid antics within their relationships. It was okay that she missed fighting with him, letting out everything and having him understand and trust her enough to do the same in return. It was okay that she was sometimes restless among her memories. She was in love, and she acted just as crazy as Keith did in their relationship. It was okay she longed for the electric effect the red paladin had on her.

She was okay with her feelings, she was okay with not being in love with the guy her parents adored. They still liked Keith, and even if they didn’t…who says they could stop her? She was a paladin of Voltron, damn it, she could date whoever she wanted to.

And she just realized that. She won’t pretend like her parents’ adoration for the black paladin didn’t influence her choice for a ‘rebound’, as she realized he was.

Shiro gave her a small, understanding grin.

“Last time you came over, you left one of your normal changes of clothes. I washed them and they’re in the back. I’ll step out and you can change.”

Pidge didn’t even try to hide her relief at that. She didn’t hate dresses, but she preferred the more practical clothes she had worn on the Castle of Lions.

Shiro stepped out of the car, back turned to the tinted windows despite being unable to see through them, and she jumped into the back. The dress was quickly shed and the comfortable jeans and a shirt that was a bigger size of the one she’d worn at the Castle of Lions sliding on just as quickly.

As soon as she was back in her normal clothes, she stashed the dress, jumped into her seat, and then slid out of the car, all with a small smile.

“Thank you, Shiro.”

“Anytime, Pidge.”

She ran after that, tracing the familiar path. It didn’t take long to get to the apartment she used to spend half her time at.

Pidge hesitated, wondering if this was a good idea, but then remembered how her analytical and hesitant behavior is what made her close off and end up breaking up her relationship with the love of her life, so she threw that caution to the wind and knocked.

Keith didn’t open the door much, and from what she could see, his eyes were closed. Not that surprising.

“Hunk, I told you. I’m not in the mood to join you and Lance on your movie night.”

She chuckled and his eyes immediately flew open and the door opened a bit more.

“Well, I’m not Hunk and I’m not here to invite you to a movie night. Can I come in?”

Keith’s silence was odd to the youngest Holt, but she understood it. He always as quiet when he had a lot on his mind, and her sudden appearance probably did stir up quite a bit in his mind.

She stepped inside, habitually glancing around. It hadn’t changed much. A small relief. This was familiar, this was good.

“Katie…why are you here? Didn’t you have a date with Shiro tonight?”

Her eyes snapped up at that, meeting the dark blue/violet of her teammate’s eyes. Oh, right. Of course. She just had to come here without a plan.

Well, she’s always been a bit impulsive, even with her analytical mind. She was impulsive about the things she loved, and right now that was centered on the boy in front of her.

So, before saying anything, she pulled him down the same way she’d done many times before, and sealed their lips.

It wasn’t the grand, firework-inducing thing like many would expect it to be. It was electric, and she reveled in it.

Keith pushed her back.

“You have a boyfriend.”

“No.” She was oddly breathless, despite having plenty of air in her lungs. She didn’t think much about it, already knowing it was that electricity. “Shiro and I agreed, we didn’t have what we thought we did.”

The genuine confusion on his face would have irritated her in a similar context.

“You two work so well though…”

She couldn’t help the annoyed half-groan, half-growl that escaped her at that. She settled on pulling him down again, and she was reminded of why she constantly referred to him as ‘addicting’ when they were together.

Pidge couldn’t get enough. How blind was she to have thought anyone could match the electricity Keith had?

This time, it was her that pulled back, staring the red paladin dead in the eyes.

“It wasn’t the same, neither of us were really in it. I was, am, still in love with you…and Shiro’s pining for Lance.”

The last part nearly makes Keith snort in sudden laughter.

“Well, Kogane? Got anything to say?”

His smirk makes her falter in her teasing confidence, knowing that smirk well. It was the smirk he got when he knew something, normally appearing when they would pull a prank on one of the other paladins, Lance being their main target.

“Actions speak louder than words, don’t they?”

He leaned down, being quite taller than her. Over the years, his galran heritage had given him quite the impressive growth spurt. He was now the tallest paladin, half a head taller than Shiro despite being a few years younger. Their lips sealed again in a silent answer, one Pidge heard loud and clear.

The electricity left her with butterflies in her stomach and the hair on the back of her neck standing…and she was enamored with it.

Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt was hopelessly in love with Keith Kogane…and that was alright with her.


End file.
